Dating a man 15 years older than me
That was my experience from dating a much older man.
He’s busy studying for a major exam that will allow him to work for whomever he wants and to make the kind of moves and money I probably won’t ever see (hey, columnists weren’t meant to be millionaires).
I still get the common response from my friends: “He's too old for you! ” I've also had a few people in my life suggest that I do it because I am a “gold digger.”So, the broad answer is this: To clarify, I'm not dating older men because I am a “gold digger.” It's more important for me to pull my own weight and be financially stable.
I have nothing against guys my age; I have tried dating them, but I have constantly come across the following:– They're not ambitious enough, or they don't have a go-getter attitude.– They're not financially stable.– They still want to date around.– They have had baby mama or ex-wife drama.– They don't have their sh*t together.
Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too.
We worked in the same profession, had similar interests, and shared common philosophical views. So what if he was wrinkly, in all the places you might expect? There was zero jealousy on both sides, and I never saw him check out another woman -- due to him being satisfied, of course, but also him being well-seasoned in how to respect the opposite sex. Another lesson in dating: a fling with someone in your professional/personal circle is more often than not bad news. I have a friend who’s been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her.